


If Only For Now

by banjelerp



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Confessions, Drabble, F/M, Falling In Love, Miscommunication, Responsibility, Short One Shot, Vaxleth - Freeform, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 07:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5282045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banjelerp/pseuds/banjelerp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vax never got an answer for his confession, and a part of him dreads what Keyleth has to say.  But when she finally does say it, it looks like things might not be as bad as he thinks.</p>
<p>Just a one-shot post-ghost fight pre-Briarwood fight drabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only For Now

"You'll never fall asleep if you keep tossing and turning like that."

Keyleth jumped slightly in her bedroll as Vax's voice creeped through the dim space. She turned to look at him, but his eyes were trained on the dagger that he held, watching the flames lick the air. Their eyes met for a moment, and she felt her heart lurch. They needed to talk, she needed to tell him. "But—"

"We need you at full strength tomorrow. Try to get some rest."

He was staring at her with an expression she couldn't read. It was like he had put on a mask that was nearly transparent but still opaque enough to conceal whatever lay beneath. As she opened her mouth again, Vax shook his head.

"Please, Kiki. We'll talk about it after...all this." His eyes drifted back to the blade. "It's a little difficult to fight well with a broken heart."

Something snapped in her, and she sat up and fully faced the rogue. She stared with furrowed brows and a baneful smile. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

With this, he looked back up at her, the mask gone and in its place blatant surprise. "What?"

It was difficult to keep her voice even and quiet, but by some miracle, she held on to that thread of composure. "A broken heart? You have _no_ idea, Vax. You just _assume_ to know my heart and who has it. If you knew me at _all_ , you would know that you're not the only one who'd have a broken heart."

She turned away from him and laid down again, drawing up the blanket and hugging it to her chin. She heard him shift and mutter her name before she felt his warm hand on her shoulder.

"Kiki—"

"No, you're right, I should just go to sleep. Big day tomorrow."

"You can't just drop that on me and not expect me to respond!"

At this, she rolled over and sat up, supporting herself on her palms stretched out behind her. "Can't I? Isn't that exactly, _exactly_ what you did?"

"Kiki—"

"Vax, how am I supposed to take that?" Now she brought her legs under her and angled herself towards him. "You tell me you're in love with me, but you won't even let me speak my mind when I obviously need to? You can be so kind and considerate, so sweet; but then you're distant, cold, even. What am I suppose to think when you do and say one thing and turn around to do something totally different?"

"It was the only way I knew how to keep myself from...from telling you everything."

"Why would you keep it from me?"

He was silent, now, looking into her eyes as though he could find the words he wanted to say. She reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it between hers, dropping her gaze to their joined fingers.

"Look, I... I have obligations, Vax. I love being with you and Vox Machina, but we all know that this can't last. At some point, I have to finish my AraMente, and once that's finished..."

"You wouldn't be returning to your people alone."

At this, her eyes darted back to his. "I couldn't ask that of you. I couldn't bear seeing you leave everyone behind simply to join the Ashari, just so we..."

He reached up with his free hand and tucked her hair back, his hand lingering to softly cup her face. "Keyleth, I would give my life for you."

"Don't say that!" Her voice broke, and tears began stinging her eyes as she squeezed them shut. "Don't you even think— Vex would _kill_ me if you threw away your life for me."

"You let me worry about Vex." His thumb brushed her cheek, wiping away the single tear that had broken free of the dam. She looked into his eyes, and her heart nearly burst as he smiled his crooked little smirk. "I love you."

As he leaned in, she met him halfway, just barely containing the broken sound that threatened to jump from her throat. His lips were soft, and his kisses were slow, patient. She released his hand to lay them on the sides of his neck, her fingers digging into the back to bring him closer. He cupped her face with both hands, now, his fingers still so gentle as she tried to deepen the kiss.

She hadn't known how much she needed this, this confirmation. How long had the signs been there? How long had she been so oblivious to his feelings? Part of her despaired at the way she must have made him feel, but right now...

Right now, she could be content with what they have. Consequences could come later.

"Oh, get a _room_!" A mound rustled close by and Percy's dishevelled mane of white hair poked into view followed by a pair of irritated blue eyes.

Or, perhaps, everything could come later...


End file.
